from my big old blackboard

wat the dickens

another year

already

and barely

have I

caught my

breath

from filling

stockings

and sending

cards

and noshing

on sweets

until

stupefied

belly stuffed

and days

crammed

with busy

and so

on this day

so special

the last

in a year full

of days

now

quickly

morphing

into

memories

some tasting

so sweet

on the tongue

such goodness

experienced

and others

more bitter

for the love

of wanting

happy

and

sometimes

finding

lack

wat the dickens

that's life

and I'm embracing

it all

in the crazy good

and in the not

because

been shown

a faithful One

full of love

and grace

sustaining

and giving joy

and me

showing up

vulnerable

because of it

so

thanks

for stopping by

and be encouraged

in this the last

and in the new

wishing you Jesus

embracing change

 

 

sitting in my window
in the early
of a November
morning
rays of sunlight
streaming
and a season changing

peering down upon
the landscape
fallen leaves blanketing
while others still
clinging to the trees
unwilling to let go

but the wind blew
and the season changed

and despite rhetoric
ramped up and angry

this is a time
a season

to come together

to stop the hatred
and the fear mongering
one person at a time

because
believe me

xenophobia
bigotry
misogyny
and racism
have no role
in this new administration

we are a nation under God
indivisible
with liberty and justice for all

working together

in a season often overlooked
where leaves have to fall
in order to usher in the new

embracing change

and praying for our country

party on autumn

 

the season
slowly
turning

and
showing up

at a

farmer's market

on a Saturday

and in the early
chilly
orange pumpkins
and fuzzy peaches
cilantro and
crazy fruit
pansies and zinnias
tomatoes
and
big fat watermelon

   

all glammed

for the occasion
like a party

where
warm sweaters
comfy jeans
baseball hats 
the oh-so-happy dress code
and
all kids are welcome

filling the space
with laughter loud
and commerce bustling
arms full
of produce
and
sunflowers
and
a riot of color
all competing
and
tied up in crisp paper
and string
  

now
homeward bound
with a stop

everyone's favorite

on saturday morning
into afternoon
delicious and free-wheeling
unrestrained freedom
joy bubbling up
and grateful
the word of the day

party on autumn
  

on a saturday

 

when two
have said i do
on the dock of the bay
in the glorious
of late afternoon
summer waning

on a saturday
almost september

the groom
and his bride
so exquisite
smiling and laughing
hugging and posing
the water lapping
cameras clicking
capturing moments
soon to fade

on a saturday
almost september

and then
eventually
riding away
into future days
yet unspent
all full of happy
lives merging
tin cans bouncing
announcing
to the world
just married

and what is left

breath-taking quiet
beauty surrounding

the sun
cooler now
setting
coloring the blue
with ink stains
spreading and merging
all hues of tropical
melting into the bay

night approaching
in all it's grandeur
lights appearing
across the water
friends drifting home
the dock emptying

and in a hush
of eventide
brush strokes of glory
filling the thin
moments of dusk

as night falls
and being reminded

a wedding
and a sunset
both
unfurling holy
for all the world to see

on a saturday
almost september

 

things my father told me

why do this
I wonder myself

because

painful even
to hang
like clothes
on a line

this vulnerable
collaging of
words
telling a life

and sometimes

gasping for air
chagrin
calling my name

but not listening

because

things my father told me

and one was

how very beautiful

a clothesline

indeed
a work of art

never one for convention
for he saw
what others did not

a stunning display
of imperfection
flying free
dancing in the wind

clothes hanging on a line

like a string of kites
or a mariner's flags

every sort of color
pattern and texture

unpredictable
mismatched
and imperfect

and in embracing
imperfection

finding beauty

this permission
to be ourselves
and know
it is enough

and in others too

the days of our lives 
pieced together
and hung
like clothes on a line

exquisite

in the everyday ordinary

from the garden

too soon

gardens lush

changing guard

like clockwork

ready or not

and we

left wondering

how it changes

these seasons

this time

we hold

in our hand

one moment

and then

it is gone

like a thief

in the night

awakening

sometimes suddenly

and sometimes even

years later

to regret

and wondering

why

the neglect

and the ridiculous

oversight

of not

taking time to savor

the beauty

of summertime slow

and drinking deep

because

it is so good
each moment
and each day
given attention to

and the season
even now

stretching

into another

and time falling away

but right now

this moment

waiting

under a summer sky

the crosshairs of despair

 

bowing our heads
in grief

tragedy
shocking to the core
knowing

it could be us

unthinkable horror
lives shattered

unfolding in story
before our eyes

and so many

ordinary people
just like us

now

facing a different
tomorrow

a beautiful girl
singing
young friends
celebrating
a family of four
vacationing

dreams distorted
and a nation reeling
all because
unseen evil lurking
beneath the surface

and so how

to find that silver lining

when the headlines blare
like an angry bullhorn

and too often
we also
in the crosshairs
though unwittingly

this time
of despair

fear squeezing
and rocking our world
with the

what ifs

and we are shaken to the core

because

no law
can prevent
evil

and no person
can live
without the threat
of loss
in this life

but in the aftermath
of so much grief
and sorrow and pain
new stories

heroes

the rare gift
of suddenly
being somewhere
where you are needed
and
showing up

indefatigable
and
relentless

creating a new narrative
stories that warm the heart
being told over and over
through tears and heartache

because

love

always the silver lining
in this life
often difficult
often tragic

through
ordinary people

just like us
 

still

i was so young
and so were you
making promises
at the end of an aisle
the room full of smiles
stain glass patterns 
dancing

but all i could see
was you

saying 

I do

with a ring 
and a prayer
and a kiss
starting it all

this story together

and still i am giddy

when i look at you

and today

so many years later

our aisle a sidewalk
and our chapel
a canopy of trees
sun drenched
with shadows
on the pavement
dancing

because our table awaits
with a view
from a window
candles and champagne

for two kids in love

and still i am giddy

even in the rain

the view

early
from my window
high in the attic room
filled with books
and journals and paint
paper and photos
wildly clamoring
for attention

but just pausing
life on hold
for a moment

to take it all in
the being mindful
they say

because
anything new

as well as welcoming
to a soul in love
with change

also

raw and challenging

and though trees filling
and grass greening
blossoms flourishing
a new page being colored in

even so

wondering why

the sun
not quite warm yet
and the silver light
of a season past
lingering
streets glistening
endless rain

and in watching it all unfold
this season new

like a story book

with pop-up pictures

enthralled

to turn the page

to see

this story

this pop-up book

coming alive

and the pictures

big, bold, and beautiful

even the rain

even the chilly

laughing

so good it is

to see

that it is all beautiful

all the pages

all the seasons

even the uncertainty

of life

because story

is how we live

and how we find joy

in a page still

unwritten

big, bold and beautiful

even in the rain

Holy week

the most beautiful of love stories unfolding

Ode to a friend

 

I will miss you

waving from your seat
on the back row on Sunday
that great big beautiful fur coat
threatening to engulf you
while that dazzling smile of yours
bubbling up
spilling forward
joyous

making me smile too
waving back

never imagining

it was the last time

so full of spitfire
and daring and mirth
so full of tenacity
and life

despite the odds
and the hardship
and the journey
traveled

to win back your life
after a shocking setback
and that you did
with aplomb

settling into life on the lake
with children
and grandchildren
and Kai
coming through that door
and you always
welcoming

all of us

a place of beauty
nature on display through windows
lovingly built and placed
strategic for you
to see the glory of God
each day

and to rest

in Him

and that's what I learned

best

from you

and that is
the resting in Him

making each day joyous
whether
a time of challenge
and prayer
or the everyday ordinary

like a day at the movies
where hilarity and glee
made me laugh
and made me cry
for the sheer joy
you experienced
in the polar bear express

because when
you have to learn
to walk again
and talk again
life is slowed
and full of hard

but

moments also sweeter
more appreciated
and family
and friends more dear

and for you in the still
in front of the lake
hours spent with God
transforming

it just radiated from you
this love affair
with Jesus

his grace covering
like your big furry coat

making you beautiful

a woman at rest

not so much
from the doing
your life full once again
and undaunted you were
by disability

but from the striving

and instead

a woman of prayer
and humility
sharing with other women
your walk
and your lover Jesus

knowing God
intimately

and trusting Him
for everything
we women try
to control

you told me
and I'm sure others

we are not here for long

but I never expected it so soon

and here I am
frantically waving back

and then

remembering
what I learned best from you

that ultimately

we're all just walking each other home

it was a privilege my friend

but

I will miss you