Not mine

 

 

Church people.
That's the thing that bothers me. She says. How they act.
The sunlight splayed across her strawberry blond hair.  Illuminating her smile.
Quietly sharing her experience and processing perplexing thoughts.
But somewhere deep the anxiety from a new relationship disappointing.
With people she thought would act differently.  And not disappoint.
But they did.  Some church people.

And my soul grieves.  For the perception.  For the perspective.
So often true.  Of the ones we expect so much from.  Disappointing.
Not measuring up.  Forgetting the world is watching.  And simply.  Well.
Reinforcing a stereotype.  Again.

It happens to me.  Church and people disappointing.  Too often. 

And I am one.  I disappoint too.

Because God. 

Showed up on earth as man.  Knowing.

How much we disappoint Him.  Ourselves.  Others.

And He is the only hope.

Not the church people.  Not myself. 
Not my successes when they come.
Or my failures.  Much too often.

It is He. 
Who gave the law. 

And we cannot keep it.
Preposterous to think ourselves capable.  And that is the point.
Yes.  Good works occur.  Great things happen. 
But it is unsustainable in this one life we have and wish to live well.   

Jesus had harsh words for such things.  Against those of his day. 
Praying on the street corners.  Their good deeds for all to see. 
Proud of church status.  Parading it.  Like the emperor with no clothes.

So forgive us.  The church people. 

We are not what you seek.  We will fail you. 

Because only Jesus can be for us what we cannot be for ourselves.

And the thing that gets me out of bed each day. 

Grace.

His unfathomable goodness.  Not mine.